Third generation Pakistani in the UK- What is that?

You may be wondering what a third generation Pakistani is? I may have it wrong, but in my opinion a third generation Pakistani in the UK is where your grandparents migrated here and then settled, made a life, had children who then had children. Those children are us, we are the third generation Pakistanis! 

My grandfather came here at a young age and built a little empire for himself, he struggled, he worked extremely hard, fended for his wife and children aswell as the extended family, his children (who were the second generation) got married and had children and here we are! I'm one of them and i call myself a third generation child. 

For us 3rd generation kids, our grandparents came here with nothing, they had it so tough, beyond what we could imagine. Hardwork. Dedication. Determination.They worked hard so that we could be what we are today- established. We do our 9-5 and feel we have worked extremely hard but little do we know what our grandparents went through. I can only begin to understand through stories my mum, aunts and uncles tell me. Their parents were so busy working hard and grafting (and rightfully so as they were trying to secure a future for their kids) that the kids were practically left to bring themselves up. Those kids grew up and became the second generation Pakistani's in the UK, they struggled too as they were torn by two cultures but having both parents from Pakistan they swayed more to the Pakistani side of things. It's only when they went to work full time that they learnt about different ways of life and that there was a lot more to the world. They had children (us) and through what they learnt in their lives they managed to give us a little more of a balanced upbringing. Something which the elders may not agree with so much as we tend to sometimes have opposing views which they cannot understand. I completely get that they don't understand us sometimes, after all we have been bought up in a completely different environment to our grand parents generation and at times they feel we have forgotten our roots. But we haven't at all, we just don't have the same love and passion they do for it. That's to be expected as we didn't spend our lives and childhood in Pakistan. We spent it here.

*On a side note- there is a huge generation gap between us and the 1st generation especially- this is something i will write about soon.

Growing up in London as a third generation Pakistani kid i was always somewhat confused about my identity. The real confusion started in my pre teen years, I started to be embarrassed of my heritage, the clothes and everything else. I hated curry, well actually i'm still not a huge fan of it unless it is chicken jalfrezi which i love! The confusion came from having a father who was born and bred in Pakistan and having a mother who was the complete opposite. Lots of conflicting views! I was torn between the pakistani culture vs english culture. For me at that age, English culture won. I preferred English food, clothing and the rest of the norms. As i got older and into my teens i began to appreciate my pakistani heritage more. When i was 13 years old i was lucky enough to visit Pakistan for my cousins wedding and i loved it. I met cousins and got to know them really well and learnt about Pakistan and the way of life there. So at the age of 13 my eyes actually opened and i saw what Pakistani culture was about.  I still preferred life in London, and was more inclined to the English culture- not surprising as this is where i was born and bought up and this is where i am most comfortable. However I did like Pakistan, and i did want to go back again. I learnt it was a beautiful country, with amazing views and scenery, delicious food and lots of clothes shopping. The weather was great too! Having said that, i missed London, my home and i preferred it.

Now i think about it, i wasn't actually experiencing the true English culture, it was actually a fusion of English/pakistani culture and this is exactly what being a third generation pakistani is. We have a mixture of cultures, we don't entirely understand the pakistani culture, a lot of it we disagree with, but some of it we love. Then comes the English way of life, we cannot completely embrace this either as we have our islamic values we must adhere too. You won't see us in the local pub, or on a night out in a club in central London. So because of this we can tend to struggle with our identity and often feel we are neither her nor there. We do not always agree with some of the things that come out of Pakistani culture as at times they can contradict what Islam teaches us. Islam takes prevalence over all cultures, culture is fine in my religion so long as it does not contradict the teaching of Prophet Muhammed (sallalahu alayhi wasalam) and the Quran.

So where are we? Where do we stand? What is our identity? The answer is, we just don't know. It is a struggle, but we are content and just go with the flow. In some ways we are lucky, because of our upbringing and diverse environments we have been exposed to we can get along with people from all walks of life. The fusion of cultures we have been exposed to makes us that little bit more tolerant and understanding. Unlike the older generations, we are more open minded and see beyond things. We have friends from different backgrounds, and we love that. 

The foundation of this contentment is islam, this is what gets me through everything. I have found that my generation has many who are seeking knowledge and being drawn closer towards islam, it is wonderful to see how so many are getting into the deen as compared to before. The confusion of identity, the struggle, the being neither here nor there when it comes to culture is all amazingly balanced by my faith. Once you have your foundation correct the rest all falls into place. Islam brings me peace, even though there are many tests in life including this identity struggle i have found happiness through Allah. My heart belongs to the one and only Almighty, the a magnificent, the lord of the worlds. Through this faith my eyes see that everything is beautiful, everyone is amazing in their own way, and we are truly blessed. 

I'm sure a lot of people can relate to this, not just Pakistanis but all the others who have ended up here in the UK through the migration of their parents or grandparents. I love that we live in such a diverse country!