Im in one of those reflective moods again, i seem to be in them very often. Alhumdulillah, reflection is great as it makes you realise your purpose, blessings and helps one to regain focus.

Why are we here? What is our purpose? Are we really fulfilling our purpose? It's important to step back and think about this. Living in London, you get so caught up in London life, it is fast paced, it is busy, you always feel tired. All of this can really distract you from what matters, what really matters. Too often we become so consumed in our worlds and our little life that we just don't see anything else. This is a trap, we must see everything else going on around us, we must step back. If we dont we most certainly will not be fulfilling any purpose, we won't reach those goals and most importantly we will not feel content. I speak to so many people who have their own issues, worries and upset, i am blessed enough to have a big network consisting of people from all walks of life. Guess what stands out to me? So many people have some sort of a void, something missing, something that needs fulfilling. As humans we are always wanting more. Few realise that this void cannot be filled by being engrossed in the dunya (worldy life) but can only be filled by having faith. You could have everything in the world but without Allah you will always feel something is missing! 

 Perfection

 It isn't in this world, perfect your deen, and look foward to the rewards from Allah in jannah. Often we seek perfection in people, our jobs, careers, life and we always forget that this is not the final destination. We need to perfect our deen. So please let's not fall into this trap where we become so consumed seeking perfection in this world that we forget our purpose.

To have a feeling of ease and contentment, before even strengthening relationships with our loved ones we need to strengthen it with THE ONE, the Almighty. This is when we will find peace, tranquility and feel content no matter what hardships we face. And remember Allah never burdens a soul with more than it can bare.  Just remember Allah has your back, so always have a strong relationship with the one who will have your back no matter happens.

Allah says walk to me and i will run towards you. This is just how merciful and great our LORD is, we just need to take a small step and Allah will help us do the rest. 

Anyway, this is something i felt would be beneficial to share. Make everything about Allah, and no matter what, you will feel safe and at ease. We all have difficulties, it's how you perceive them and what stance you take that makes the difference. Knowing and believing Allah will always do what is best for you will make you feel content. So if you feel something is missing, you feel empty or feel a void in life- turn to Allah. 

1) Al-Bukhaari (5971) and Muslim (2548) narrated that Abu Hurayrah (may Allaah be pleased with him) said: A man came to the Messenger of Allaah (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) and said: “O Messenger of Allaah, who is most deserving of my good company?” He said: “Your mother.” He said: “Then who?” He said: “Your mother.” He said: “Then who?” He said: “Your mother.” He said: “Then who?” He said: “Then your father.” 

3) The Prophet (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) said: “The best of you is the one who is best to his wife, and I am the best of you to my wives.” Narrated by al-Tirmidhi, 3895; Ibn Maajah, 1977; classed as saheeh by al-Albaani in Saheeh al-Tirmidhi. 

4) Islam honours women as daughters, and encourages us to raise them well and educate them. Islam states that raising daughters will bring a great reward. For example, the Prophet (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) said: “Whoever takes care of two girls until they reach adulthood, he and I will come like this on the Day of Resurrection,” and he held his fingers together. Narrated by Muslim, 2631. 

http://www.karmanirvana.org.uk/helpline/

- this is a helpline which is aimed at victims of honour violence and domestic violence

- aimed at all age groups

 http://www.solacewomensaid.org 

- this is a womens charity but also for children who are victims of abuse

http://tellmamauk.org

- a charity set up to help victims of islamophobia  

To any sisters reading this who need help and do not know where to turn, feel free to contact me and i will be happy to provide support and signpost you to any relevant sources of help.

My duas (prayers) are always with women who are being oppressed. 

 

Zahra Rosea has 13k+ followers on instagram so one could definitely say she is in a very good position to inspire those who would like to start their journey to covering. As muslimahs we are constantly trying to improve ourselves and it can be so very hard for those who want to cover, and the 101 thoughts that enter your mind when making the decision to begin covering.  A lot of thoughts may enter your mind about wearing hijab e.g 'i won't look nice', 'i can't be fashionable with a hijab', 'people won't accept me', 'it isn't the norm in my environment or society to wear hijab', 'people at work will think i am weird', 'my wardrobe isn't modest enough to start wearing a hijab'. Well ladies, please stop thinking like this because hijab is a journey and it is done for the sake of Allah, so if you would like to start by wearing a hijab and slowly making your wardrobe more modest as you go along, what is wrong with that.

There are many inspirational ladies out there who you can take style ideas from on how to dress modestly. Of course, the overall aim is to please Allah, but a little helping hand can never be a bad thing! Zahra Rosea is one of the many hijabis who are here to show you that you can wear hijab and still be trendy at the same time. As long as you are fully covered there is nothing wrong with adding a bit of style to your look to ease you into to dressing modestly and from there things can only get better.

So without further ado here is my interview with Zahra who recently featured on Gap and was selected as the first winner to feature. That in itself is a great privilege, for a hijabi to be recognised as the first winner to feature on gap is something to be proud of. It highlights that the world is opening up more and more to the notion of hijab and this will only make it easier for those who want to cover but don't have the courage to take the plunge. Anything to help someone feel more comfortable wearing a hijab is something to celebrate. Zahra explains why she put herself out there and what her future goals are. Read below;

What made you submit your picture to Gap? 

I decided a very long time ago that as Muslim women and as a consumer of fashion we are very poorly represented in the fashion world, media and industry. I thought it would be a step in the right direction to have a Muslim within a media campaign, I think it's also a significant step for the industry to readily identify that we too are part of their consumer base and deserve to be included.

When did u start wearing hijab? 

I began wearing hijab when I was around fourteen years old. In all honesty it wasn't a step I really thought about since we were raised in a very un-multicultural part of the U.K where my family and I were the only permanent Muslim family in town.

What made you wear it? 

We had just spent that whole summer in Dubai and wore the hijab when we were out there and back to the airport in the UK. When we landed, my younger sister Asma was actually the first one to make the decision to continue wearing it. I decided I wasn't going to allow her to struggle alone and so I too began wearing it.I knew it would be difficult being the only teenager in the whole of our town wearing it, but with both our support to each other we decided it would be something attainable.

What would you describe your style as? 

I would decide be my style as muted power dressing. I love structured silhouettes, pointed pumps, clean crisp lines and shirts

What are your future goals? 

In terms of goals for hijabis as a whole I would love for us all to be included and recognised as a consumer market by fashion brands. 

As for myself, I am establishing and developing my own modest clothing brand, I would love for that to become global inshallah.

What or who is your style inspiration? 

I love Victoria Beckham, Celine & Coco Chanel. A mixture of all of the above!

I would like to thank Zahra for taking time out of her busy schedule to do this interview, and i hope this can help those of you who want to cover to come one step closer to making that decision and putting on the hijab. Hijab is beautiful, and anything that is done solely to please your creator will only bring you good things. Start your journey and remember true beauty comes from within and will shine out. Don't say to your self 'one day i will wear it' because that one day may never come, be spontaneous and just go for it. Zahra did, and has no regrets. We are all on a journey and continuously trying to improve- may we all be the best we can for our Creator.

Zahra Rosea can be found on Instagram ; http://instagram.com/zahrarosea 

We will not stand for it!

As everyone knows it was International Women's day yesterday! So i thought let me jump on the bandwagon and write a post to celebrate women. I just want to make one thing clear before i start, im not really into these 'days' where there is just one day dedicated to a group of people. I think everyday is your day, therefore for me everyday is womens day, and why not? We are pretty amazing, multi talented, determined beings aren't we?! 

My religion, Islam, recognised the importance and value of women thousands of years ago! It took the rest of the world a while to catch up didnt it? And yes in Islam a woman is important and special every single day. The Prophet (sallahu alayhi wasalam- peace be upon him) expressed this importance on many occasions, particularly in his final sermon, which is meaningful and beloved to us all. He said ' i urge you to treat women well'. This man was the finest of gentleman, thousands of years ago, when all over the world (including the 'western world') women were seen as second class citizens, he treated women with the upmost respect. I could write all day about how my heart melts thinking about our Prophet (saw) but i will leave it here. I could never do justice to this amazing man in any piece i write as there are some things which are too beautiful to put into words, no words can do justice.

I recently wrote an article about how we are not traditionally submissive as women and quite the opposite and cited some role models in islamic history that us ladies look upto. Well today i am going to highlight 5 modern day Muslim women who make me proud to be a woman. They have achieved so much, and they deserve a special mention in light of international womens day.

1.  My mother- yes really, my mother does make me proud to be a woman. Not only has she raised a family but she has done this along with working full time. She is one of those women who are NOT ONLY housewives but are working women as well, they run their house as a woman should and they also go out to work and bring money home. She is a hard worker, she never shudders any responsibility and is always there on hand to support the family, immediate and extended. She is a star, hardworking, and dedicated. She has to deal with me and my brother after all, which isn't always easy, so i commend my mother- a modern day muslim woman who i am so very proud of and aspire to be like.

2. Yasmin Mogahed

Yasmin Mogahed is an internationally published journalist who gives lectures on islam all over the world. She is known worldwide for her writing, lectures and radio shows. One of her most famous books is called 'reclaim your heart' - this book is an amazing uplifter, imaan booster and something that helps you deal with heartache and difficult situations.

Yasmin has a way of captivating her audience and help them see things through a more islamic perspective.

Yasmin is Al Maghrib Insitutes first female instructor. Her name is a name known WORLDWIDE, and anyone who has read her writing or attended her lectures will feel spiritually uplifted. I know i did.

This woman has the ability to relate all situations in life and used these to strengthen ones relationship with their creator.  A woman who turns all hardships into strength through seeking solace with her creator.

A modern day muslim woman who is determined, successful and able to have a positive effect on so many.

3. Dalia Mogahed

Dalia is an American scholar of Egyptian origin. This woman has so many achievements on her list that it would take a long time to write them all out. She is a strong, successful and a modern day muslim woman. Dalia is the Director of Research at the Institute for Social Policy and Understanding in Washington, she is also the CEO of Mogahed Consulting. Dalia was selected as an advisor by U.S president Barack Obama on the Whitehouse Office of Faith-based and Neighbourhood partnerships.

Dalia is also a board member and leader for several organisations, including World Economic Forum's Global Agenda Council on the Arab world.

Dalia was NAMED one of the top 500 most INFLUENTIAL muslims in 2009 and 2010.

This is a successful woman who we should all be proud of, she has achieved so much in her life and is still continuing.

4. Nawal El Moutawakel

Nawal made history in 1984 when she became not only the first African woman to WIN a gold medal in the Olympics but also the first Muslim woman to win. She won the 400m hurdles race.

When people think of muslim women, they tend to think they are oppressed and unable to pursue their dreams, this is due to the medias portrayal of muslim women. Well Nawal is here to prove to you that that is all nonsense, she had a dream and she pursued and she won that gold medal. It was rare for muslim women to enter the olympics, let alone win a gold medal. Nawal did both and became the first African and Muslim female to do this.

A modern day muslim woman who did not give into stereotypes and remained determine to pursue her goal and aspirations.

5. Ibtihaj Muhammad

Would you ever have imagined a muslim woman to take her turn in fencing? Well Ibtihaj Muhammed has made this a reality! She is the first female Muslim American fencer in the WORLD. Not only is she the first female muslim fencer in the world, she has also been name one of the BEST female fencers in the world.

Ibtihaj also won an award as one of the TOP 10 Muslim women of 2015.

Ibtihaj pursued her goals, even though muslim female fencing was unseen of- she did it! And not only that but she succeeded and has become renowned worldwide for her talent and determination. Hats off to her! An inspiration, she went against conventions and norms.


There are probably so many more amazing muslim women out there who we are proud of, the women who pursued their goals and became successful.  These are some of our role models and i felt they should be commended, celebrated and highlighted for their amazing achievements. I hope this can show those who stereotype female muslims that we are not what you think we are, we are so much better, powerful and strong. We have dreams and we achieve them and do not let stereotypes deter us. Women are multi taskers and the above proves it :)

Here's to celebrating women all day everyday, we do not need one day in a year to tell us how great we are. You know why? Because we know we are great and we celebrate our success every single day.

I'll end this post with a request for all you fellow ladies out there, there are many amazing women out there who are struggling and going through some hardship or another - lets raise our hands a say a prayer for all these women. Whererever you are, whoever you are and whatever your hardship is, you are in my duas (prayers). May Allah (God) remove all your hardships and provide for you ease. Ameen ❤️

If you have faith, health, family, a roof over your head and food to eat then you are more blessed then you realise. In the last few months i have seen so much for example the i have seen the loss of innocent civilians during war, i have seen people struggling through hardships and come through fighting and i have seen some who are at a crossroad in their life not knowing where to turn. One thing i learnt through all this is, never judge a book by its cover. Some seem outwardly content however we just do not know what is going on inside, what their hearts are agonising over. We think people are fine and happy but little do we know about their struggles. This is why it is so important to embrace whatever you have going on in your life and see the positive in it. Allah may have taken away something from you to protect you, Allah may have blessed you with an awful situation, yes awful, just to bring you closer to him. We think we know what is best for us, but we don't, Allah does, hence why we must always seek guidance and be thankful for whatever obstacles or blessings come in our path.

What i have learnt is life is not easy, but if you let your situation control you then you are already losing and on a downward spiral. You need to take control of what you can and do your very best, once you have done that then you leave it to Allah. The following hadith comes to mind as i type this;

One day the Messenger of Allah (saws) noticed a bedouin (desert Arab) leaving his camel without tying it and he asked the bedouin: "Why don't you tie down your camel?"  The bedouin answered, "I put my trust in Allah." The Prophet (saws) then said, "Tie your camel first, then put your trust in Allah"  (Tirmidhi).

This is one of my favourite Hadith as it quite perfectly states; that we must always do what we possibly can to better a situation and then we leave it to Allah. Whatever is better for us will happen, when you put your trust in Allah know that only good things can come of this. You may not see it in this life, maybe you will see it in the Akhirah (hereafter). Sometimes we become overwhelmed and that causes us to retract and let the problem or issue we have consume us. 

Everyone has a struggle in some shape or form in their lives, if this life was so perfect what would be the point? This life is not meant to be perfect,  Jannah is where you will find perfection. So if you are sad, please do remember that this is not the final destination. Stop trying to create a Utopia here, have patience and work towards Jannah! We are all travellers in this world, stop thinking it is permanent. Whatever struggle you are facing, remember that this is also temporary and this time will pass. Imagine Jannah and how amazing it will be, you will be with who you love and have all you ever wanted and the best thing is- it'll be forever. 

A recent seminar I attended by an amazing sister Yasmin Mogahed really helped me to regain some much needed focus. I had just come back from hajj, and those of you who have been blessed with this once in a lifetime opportunity can probably relate to what i was feeling. I felt i had hit an anti climax, i just just lived a dream, i had been granted one of my greatest wishes and then i was back to the reality of this world. Hardships, tests, life. It was a really difficult adjustment to make especially as i had just started a new job. However this seminar helped me put things back into perspective, i was reminded that this life is temporary and will pass. I needed to work on my akhirah. The one analogy Sister Yasmin Mogahed made which really aided me is; We should treat our life and this world like a hotel room when travelling. Yes a hotel room. When we go on holidays do we stock up on furniture, food, cutlery for our hotel room? No we do not! Why? Because we do not expect to stay there long. We stay at the hotel, not giving it much significance, maybe admiring its beauty but when it is time to leave, we are fine to leave. This is because we have not become attached to this hotel room, we saw it as a temporary place to live and when it's time to go home we happily pack up and go. This is how we must treat this world. We aren't here forever so why get so attached to worldly things when this will all pass. Why not focus on Jannah where you can have whatever you desire and more (things we aren't even capable of imagining). If we have this mindset, we will not become so consumed by our hardships. Take each day as it comes, let go of the past, stop worrying about the future, tie your camel (do all you can) and put your trust in Allah.

Now having said all this, i myself can put my hand up and say this is not easy. We are so easily immersed into the world that we lose focus. But we have to take control and ensure we do not let our woes consume us. This can be done through stepping back every now and again and trying to observe your situation as an outsider. Observe it, make notes, think if it was a friend what would you advise and then act on that. We are often great at advising others but cant take this advice on ourselves. Make an active effort to repair what you can, always remember Allah, focus, pray, pour your heart out to the Almighty and then just let it be. We are not the final deciders of anything, only Allah decides the outcome. Once you have done all you can and have faith be content that the results are for your betterment.

Look around you, I guarantee you there are others struggling. Be thankful for what you have, if you need help seek it from your friends, family and knowledgable people and don't try and struggle through it alone. Be active rather then passive and make the changes you can. 

If things are going great, remember to always thank the Almighty and remain faithful as sometimes a blessing can be your test. 

I'll leave a parting note (a verse from the Quran) for you all to ponder on. This is one of my personal favourites....

“And if you could count the favours of Allah, never would you be able to count them. Truly, Allah is Oft‑Forgiving, Most Merciful”[16:18]❤️

So a couple of weeks ago, or let's say a month ago (where has the time gone) one of my dearest friends turned 30!! To mark this occasion and milestone we decided we wanted to try out something a little different. And different is what we got. We went to Feng Shang Princess which is located in Regents Park, London. First of all i would like to say that the location is great, and better yet you can park right outside the restaurant. This was ideal for us ladies in our high heels. We had an amazing time and thoroughly enjoyed the experience.

As soon as u walk towards the restaurant you are greeted with a lovely picturesque boat- yes this is where the restaurant is, it is on a boat!! It looked extra pretty in the dark- see pics below.

We walked in and were welcomed by the staff who were extremely professional and very polite and accommodating.

I'll now skip to the interesting part!

What I ate;

We ordered things like spring rolls, and prawn sesame seed toast for starters- very delicious and a lovely presentation.

For mains i ordered a thai green curry (chicken) which was delicious and just how i like it- nice and spicy!

I ordered a virgin pina colada which was just perfect!

Price £££

I would say be prepared to spend about £25-30 per person here, it is very reasonably priced especially for its location. 

Overall view

It seems there has been some mixed reviews about this place on trip adviser, it has an overall 4 stars on there but i noticed there were some complaints about the service more then anything else. What i will say is, i was very happy with my experience at Feng Shang Princess and so were my friends. The staff were very professional and i had no complaints whatsoever. The food was delicious, the drinks (i always enjoy the virgin cocktails more then anything else when i go out) were great and the service was excellent. I would definitely recommend this to everyone who wants to try something nice and different. The restaurant has a lovely and calming ambience. I most certainly was impressed.

My advice would be go and try it out, its halal, parking is convenient and it looks every so pretty.

I hope you all found this useful, would love to hear others views on this restaurant.

1) Khadija (radi allahu anhu- May Allah SWT be pleased with her) The elite businesswoman 

Even before her marriage to the Prophet Muhammed (sallahu ilayhi wasalam- peace be upon him) Khadija (ra) was an important figure in her own right, she was a successful merchant and one of the most elite figures of Makkah. She had an integral role in supporting and propagating the new faith of Islam and had the honour of being the first muslim. Khadija (ra) actually initiated the marriage with our beloved Prophet Muhammed (saw) and sent a proposal to him. Does this seem submissive at all to you? To me i see an amazing woman who was successful, courageous and determined. A role model. The first muslim, and the woman us muslim ladies look upto.

2) Ai'sha (radi allahu anhu - May Allah SWT be pleased with her) The Scholar

Most famously known as the wife of the Prophet (saw). She was the most beloved wife of the Prophet (saw) and they had a playful and fun relationship. She was perhaps the most influential woman in the Muslim community after the death of her husband and propagated his message to the world. She led an army, the most famous hadiths are narrated by her, she was involved in politics and scholarship. This was by no means a timid lady, this was a remarkable woman who fought in battles, she was independent, she was strong.


3) Asiya (radi allahu anhu- May Allah SWT be pleased with her) - The symbol of patience who stood upto the Pharaon (Pharaoh)

She was a hero, she was the wife of the greatest enemy to Islam yet she rose and she stood against her husband. She was tortured by him and asked to denounce her faith, but she did not. She stood defiantly and held firm onto her belief. She displayed immense patience in the most difficult of trials. She perfected her deen in such a way that she earnt her place in the Holy Quran. Asiya saved a great Prophet of Allah (Musa alayhi salaam) and nurtured him to greatness. This woman chose death over living a life of luxury and royalty. She chose paradise and dreamt of it. She wanted to be close to her Lord. A muslim woman who displayed supreme patience. When i think of this amazing lady i think of strength, that is what first comes to mind.


4) Nusayba b Ka'b Ansariya also known as Umm Ammarah ( radi allahu anhu May Allah SWT be pleased with her)- The Warrior

A member of the Bannu Najjar tribe and one of the earliest reverts to islam in madinah.  She took part in the battle of Uhud in which she fought using swords and shields against the Makkans. This lady shielded the Prophet Muhammad (saw) from enemies during the battle and even sustained several lance wounds and arrows as she cast herself infront of him to protect him. She fell unconscious after sustaining many wounds, and it is said that when she woke up the first thing she asked was if the Prophet (saw) was ok.  This woman was a warrior, she was brave and courageous. Submissive? I think not!

5) Summayah bint Khayyat (radi allahu anhu- May Allah SWT be pleased with her)- The first Martyr in Islam

The first person to be martyred for having adopted the faith of Islam. Summayah was a devoted wife and mother, she gave all her love to her two sons. She became muslim at a time when it was not accepted, and anyone who outwardly showed they were muslim were in danger of their lives. This lady was brave enough to openly say she was a muslim. Summayah was told that if she stuck by her choice to be a muslim she would be tortured. She stood firm in her beliefs. She was threatened to be killed but did not give up her religion. Summayah was then killed and became the first martyr of Islam. This woman was steadfast in her belief till her end, the prospect of being killed did not phase her. She was not going to give up islam.

The above are just a very few examples of the kind of women us muslim women look upto, the traits these amazing women displayed is what we can only dream of having. These are our heroes, these are the women that make us want to be better, they are not submissive, they are powerful. As a muslim woman, i look at the traits of women like the ones mentioned above and this is what i aspire to be, it is what my religion teaches me to be. Islam does not teach me to be submissive but rather to be the opposite.

So am i #traditionallysubmissive? Or Am i dominating? The truth is i am neither. I do not need to label myself as anything, and i will not label any muslim women, or any woman in fact, because we are all different beings. So stop labelling us as timid, branding us as opressed women or claiming we are dominated. We are independent, we are strong and we are successful.

Here's to celebrating what muslim women really are! Amazing, wonderful, and liberated!

You may think this reflection will begin from when I got on the plane to begin my pilgrimage, the journey of a life time. Well you're wrong. This journey did not start on 17/09/15 but started the day I was born. I was born a Muslim and one of the pillars of Islam is to complete hajj. My real desire to complete this sacred act actually came in 2012, this is the year I chose to wear my hijab. 2012 was a special year for me where I learnt a lot and was a life changing year for me in various ways. I became closer to my Lord. A close friend of mine went to do hajj this year too, so I watched a tv show on Islam Channel called 'footsteps of Ibrahim' everyday just to see what actually happened when people went to do hajj. Alhumdulillah I am so glad I watched this show. I watched everyday and my heart yearned to go to Makkah and Madinah just by hearing the pilgrims talk about their journey thus far. I then spoke to my family and with a little persuasion my dad agreed to arrange a trip to complete umrah. 

April 2013- When my heart skipped a beat

Alhumdulillah (All praise be to Allah) we went for our umrah trip! Mum, dad, me and my brother. I was SO happy, as it took a few months persuasion to get dad on board but we got there and it was beautiful and a life changing experience. Getting on that plane, hearing the pilgrims chant labaik- it sent shivers down my spine (in a good way). The first sight of kabah, the amazing feeling of being there with my family, it was truly a wonderful experience. I used to dream of seeing the kabah and now I was finally here, Allah invited me and I was so grateful for this experience. As cliched as it sounds, when you see the kabah, your heart really does skip a beat.

This experience made me realise I needed to come back, in fact I didn't want to leave the place. But one thing I knew for sure was this is where my heart and soul felt at ease and this is where I belonged! I was SO coming back here.

The rest of 2013,2014 and beginning of 2015 I kept badgering my dad about hajj and saying we needed to go and that now was the perfect time. My dad wasn't so sure and didn't feel 100% ready but every now and again I would keep raising it and saying we really do need to go. I prayed and made dua for Allah swt to allow us this honour of going to do hajj. 2014 flew by and there was still no solid plan of hajj. I was sad and disappointed by this but didn't give up. At the end of 2014 I again insisted to my dad that we must go and kept pushing, he was warming to the idea. 

2015- Perseverance and prayer

My dua to Allah was consistent on this matter (going to do hajj) and I prayed everyday for the invite to come from Allah. I spoke to my dad some more and he agreed that yes we would make arrangements to go, we didn't research much till about March, and I was beginning to worry that we may miss out again this year. However in May we spoke to my amazing Uncle who referred us to a group he knew that arranged trips and finally we were getting closer. Just before Ramadhan I began to push dad to make arrangements to pay deposits etc and we finally got there (at this point I still felt it could go either way) but I kept praying for it. The intention was there, the longing for hajj was there all we needed now was for Allah to accept this intention and alhumdulillah after Ramadhan this was done and it was all paid for.

Everyone kept telling me I was so lucky to be going but it wasn't sinking in for me, I guess when you want something so badly and it finally happens it becomes hard to believe. The day it hit me I was going was actually the day of my hajj seminar when the shaykh leading it said how honoured he felt to be in the company of the guests of Allah. This one sentence touched my heart and bought a tear to my eyes. It was happening, a dream was about to come true and a prayer was about to be answered.

September 2015- A dream came true, a prayer was answered.

The dream had come true. The shopping and prep was all done and everyone was at my house visiting me and my family, wishing us well and asking us to pray for them. This was happening and I felt a little numb, a little afraid but very excited. It was a whirlwind. Before we set off to travel I went to see two of the most precious people in my life- my grandparents. My grand father had been extremely unwell so this was a very testing time for us all, this goodbye was particularly emotional and tear filled. Luckily he had come home from hospital just before we left for hajj so it was good to leave knowing he was on his way to recovery. I gave them both a heartfelt hug, and we set off. My uncle and brother dropped us off, I was really sad to be leaving my brother behind and knew I would miss him and felt sad he couldn't experience this with us- but it wasn't his time right now and in sha Allah I hope it comes for him very soon. Before embarking on this journey, i sent a message to my family highlighting why i loved them all and what they meant to me, who knew if i would ever get this opportunity again....so it had to be said. Emotions were at a high and the journey began.

I'm not going to give a day by day account of everything that happened whilst we were there as I would be here forever writing so I will go onto the significant acts of hajj and what they meant to me spiritually. Hajj is such an amazing experience and I will tell you why, you feel every emotion possible, you are tested beyond what you can imagine, you feel like you will not make it but you carry on, the strength you have there you won't have at any other time and the trials you encounter during the few days of hajj are trials that will make you wonder if you can get through this experience. The result - well words cannot describe that, it so so amazing that I can't even begin to explain it. No words can do that feeling justice.

8th Dhul Hijjah- O my Lord, here I am at Your service, here I am.There is no partner with You,here I am.Truly the praise and the provisions are Yours,and so is the dominion and sovereignty.There is no partner with You.

The words of labaik are just words of such beauty, we are telling Allah SWT that we are here at his service, the sole purpose of hajj- an act of worship to Allah SWT.

This is the day our hajj began, we proceeded to mina where we would be staying in tents, this was a vast difference to what we had experienced thus far which was a 5* luxury hotel. I knew what was to come was going to be a challenge, but hearing my group leaders words of inspiration telling us his was our hajj and to make the very most of this one experience of a life time made me determined to do my best. The men began to chant labaik in the coach and my excitement grew, it was happening and were pilgrims. We had the honour of being the chosen ones this year and I just could not help but smile at the thought. We arrived at the tents and I could see this was going to be harder then I thought but we all carried on and did our best whilst encouraging each other. The thing with hajj and staying in these tents is that you are literally taken back to basics and this basic I had never known before. I had never experienced this type of living condition before. It was tough. But those around you become your support and like a family. My heart warms when I think of the people I spent this time with.

9th Dhul Hijjah - day of arafah - Prophet Muhammad (sallahu ilayhi wasalam) said 'hajj is arafah' 

We spent the day in arafah, the most important day of hajj where we prayed, repented and prayed some more. This was our day, we were pilgrims and we needed to make the most of the special day. It was extremely hot, it was tiring but this was the day that meant everything. The significance of this day is that hajj is only valid when the day of arafah has been observed. Some Hadith say that arafah is the place Adam (as) and Hawa met once again when they were sent down to earth. There are many Hadith which state the importance of arafah, therefore this alone highlights that this is a special day which requires one to submit themselves in prayer to Allah.

Muzdalifah - the night spent out on open ground 

Once the day of arafah ended we made our way to muzdalifah to sleep on the open ground for the night. Why do we do this? Well for me this made me think of the day of judgement of judgement where we will have nothing and everyone will be frantic looking for good deeds to add to their list. Sleeping on that hot ground, the heat burning my back made me think of how the grave would be, of course this would be nothing compared to how it will all be in reality but none the less made me ponder and reflect. This is the night one should rest as the next day is challenging and any bit of energy possible is needed. I couldn't sleep at all this night, it was dusty, congested and extremely hot. I thought of all my loved ones this night and missed them. I collected my stones for the next day and waited for the night to end.

10th Dhul Hijjah - Ramy Al Jamarat - the symbolic stoning of shaitaan (the devil)

This is the most challenging part of hajj in my opinion, this is the day we walked and walked and walked. I have never walked so much in my life, it was hot and I didn't think I would make it through this day. From muzdalifah we walked to Jamarat and we began our stoning. The reason behind the stoning is; it reacts the experience of Ibrahim (alayhi salam), the devil appeared him three times, at each of these appearances Angel Gibrael said 'pelt him' so Ibrahim (as) did this seven times each. Ibrahim (as) pelted the devil each time he tried to deter him when he was about to sacrifice his son. The pebbles were thrown to get rid of this temptation. We enact this ritual during hajj. 

After the final stoning we made our way back to Makkah, this day was amazing. We had finished everything we needed to do and guess what?? This was the day i turned 30!! Alhumdulillah. I actually felt like the luckiest woman alive at this point. 30 years ago on this day my amazing mother gave birth to me, my mum and dad became parents, and today they had completed each part of their hajj, and i was with them. We had completed a pillar of islam. What a beautiful experience. My 30th celebrated by completing hajj with the very two people who bought me into this world. I always wanted to do hajj, i tried for a few years and it happened at such a perfect time. It became all the more special, for me, my mum and my dad. We completed this pillar on the day i turned 30. I don't really celebrate birthdays to be honest, but this was the best present i could ever have imagined. This was from Allah. Sometimes we feel things aren't happening for us, but we don't realise that Allah does everything in his appointed time. And when it does happen, it is all the more amazing. On this day i missed my brother especially, i wished he could experience this with us and made a special dua for him. I missed all my friends and family and prayed that they all get to experience this beauty as soon as possible.

Hajj is a journey of a life time, everyone will have something unique about their hajj experience and we could all write pages and pages about it. My aim was to keep this brief but because hajj is so huge, it becomes impossible to write about it and keep it brief. It isn't possible to be brief in this topic.  Once you have that sincere intention in your heart for hajj, watch how Allah opens those doors for you. Hajj is so amazing it is beyond description, during it i felt like i couldn't get through it as it was so testing, but the minute it was done....guess what? I wanted to go back and do it all again. The minute i returned to London, i wanted to go back.

My heart yearns for another opportunity to be one of the hujjaj again, and i felt this the minute my hajj ended. This experience humbles you, you realise that all the materialistic things mean nothing, all that really matters is Allah. Allah guides you through it and gives you the strength beyond what you can imagine. Allahuakbar- Allah is the greatest.

The hajj journey doesn't end here, it carries on for life. You keep those precious moments with you for a life time. When you return it may not get easier, it may get harder- life is a test and we need to keep reminding ourselves to be better. And so the journey continues.......

This is my reflection of my hajj experience, #HAJJ2015.

Muzmatch, single muslim, pure matrimony, halfourdeen,rishta aunties, suggestions from friends, suggestions from family. No wonder why those searching for marriage are SO overwhelmed, getting married seems to get tougher as the years go on. Everyone knows someone who is struggling! It is now a lot more common for girls to find themselves hitting 30 and still unmarried. This is seen as awful in the asian culture, how can a girl aged 30 still be single, either she is too fussy, or there is something wrong with her. Well no, not at all. Just because someone is taking their future seriously and not willing to marry just anyone it doesn't mean they are abnormal. There is always more to what meets the eye, maybe she was focusing on her career, maybe she had a bad experience, maybe her family have put impossible restrictions on her. Yes we all know that there are many factors. It isnt because she is abnormal or fussy or weird.

The truth is times have changed, people have changed and have different priorities in life. So when a girl is ready to get marriage questions like 'why did you leave it so late' should not be thrown at her.  Now i am speaking from a female perspective but i'm sure men can also relate. I will speak of my experiences as a sister, and my observations of the hurdles faced when looking for a potential spouse.

Family requirements

We are living in strange times where there are some families who are so open minded Alhumdulillah, but then there are the others who place restrictions on their children which are not islamic and neither are they fair or realistic. This is where it starts getting tough, you are looking for someone to meet your criteria right? Nope, they need to meet your families criteria too, and once they have, the question arises do you even meet his families criteria? 

I understand the importance of family involvement and the family's blessing, but with so many needs to meet the task becomes even harder. Especially in asian families, we have huge families and everyone will have an opinion.  This is where it gets complicated. So once you have passed the hurdle of finding someone you like, you then have another hoop to jump through. I think the prospective bride and groom's needs and criteria need to be met first and foremost....however this isn't always the case and it starts to become all about the family. Again i will reiterate that yes family is important, but lets not forget that it will be the couple living together and spending their lives together. So please listen to your parents views when considering a partner but don't forget your own needs in the process- there needs to be a balance.

Expectations 

As times get harder in the quest for marriage ironically expectations seem to rocket. We are all guilty of this at times.  And why not, we all want the best for ourselves don't we? We deserve the best right? Yes we do....but we need to realise we can't  have EVERYTHING we want.

Brothers:

I've come across brothers who want a devout modestly dressed wife who looks like Kim Kardashian.... Sorry but HELLO how contradictory is this. If you want a pious and modestly dressed wife please take into account that it is unlikely she will be contoured to the max, plastered in foundation and wearing six inch killer heels. It just won't happen. So men please be realistic in this department, if you say you want a pious and devout wife, look past a woman's appearance look at what her character and heart is like. And if you are lucky, many have been, you may find a naturally beautiful sister who is devout ;) 

Sisters:

Sisters....we aren't perfect in our expectations either. So you want a built and muscular brother? When was the last time you went to the gym or ate healthy? Or you want a 6 foot practising, hot, bearded brother who is a high earner too? Isn't a bit  much to ask for? If the man ticks a few of the boxes why are you not considering him? You cant have everything you want in life, so learn to think about what is most important to you and lower those expectations a little. First and foremost look for man who has deen, a man who is good to his mother, his sisters etc and look at his character. If you're lucky you may get someone who ticks all your boxes, but if not don't just eliminate those who don't and give people a chance. 

The Prophet (peace and blessings be upon him) taught us in many hadith about the various characteristics which one looks for in a spouse and their relative importance and which ones determine success in sha Allah and Allah's blessing on a marriage. Among those hadith:

"A woman is married for her deen, her wealth or her beauty. You must go for the one with deen, may your hands be in the dust! (if you fail to heed)" [Muslim]

We all need to take heed from this hadith! In sha Allah ( Allah willing).

Attraction: not giving people a chance

So we are suggested someone but one of us or both haven't even given it real consideration before saying NO. You have met the person and you didn't feel that attraction. Ok fair enough, but how can you tell from one meeting if you are attracted to someone? Sometimes it may be a person's personality that wins hearts, can one meeting really make you the best judge? First meetings can result in many feeling nervous and not showing how they really are, so please do not write people off from just one meeting. A friend once said have three meetings, this will give you a better indication on if you can click with the person or not. I think this is great advice, it gives you good time to genuinely assess a person. The first meeting you may think 'im not attracted', the second meeting you may think 'hmmm i get on with this person' and the third (penultimate) meeting can be the decider on if you wish to progress or not.  Always meet with a wali/guardian as islam prescribes. Do it the correct way.

So we just need to give people a chance, attraction and likability doesn't always come straight away. Be a little more open minded, who knows it may lead to success and wedding bells. If someone meets a lot of your criteria don't let looks be the decider, looks fade however character and personality will remain. Of course we all want someone we are attracted too, all i am saying is don't just go by looks, look at the whole package when deciding. Don't just write people off because they do not look like supermodels. 

It is a struggle, it is tough, it's a hard game. But if we all have a flexible approach and mindset things may improve. Families that are making it tough for people need to stop and reassess things, is the motive to see your child happy or is it to meet your own needs and the worry of what others think. Put your children and their happiness and future first, and children respect your parents views and advice and  hopefully this will keep everyone happy. Uneccesary restrictions that are contrary to islam are not making things easier they make it harder. As if it wasnt hard enough. Brothers/ sisters who are seeking a spouse, be realistic, be open minded and give people a genuine chance. Don't just write people off, who knows it may have been a bad picture, it may have been a bad hair day or the person may have been nervous. 

By being more open minded (both families and the ones searching for a spouse) things could be a lot easier. Just because you have passed the conventional age, it doesn't mean it's too late, or that there is something wrong in you. Everything happens in Allahs appointed time. When Allah wills it will happen.  

Lastly but not least always follow the correct islamic etiquette when looking for a spouse, there will be more barakah (blessing) in this. 

"They (your wives) are your garment and you are a garment for them" (Noble Quran 2:187) 

May Allah (swt) grant us all pious spouses. Ameen ❤️